Have you ever sat down on a silent night(not necessarily night but usually such thinking happens only then) and pondered whether who you are is really who you are? Or are the people who you think really love you or you really love actually know you? Here I am not just referring to the person you portray to be, but the one who is there within you, about whose existence may know or may not know.
We all agree to the fact that we are not always the same. We change with time, people and circumstances. That's why human mind is so complex to understand, because there is nothing in us that is definite; not our choices, not our perceptions, not our behavior. There are times when we do things or actions we are not supposed to do. For example, I had a terrible day at work and I remove all of that at home, on my parents, or siblings, my best friend or my partner. A natural response to that sort of behavior would be, "It happened because I had a bad day and I was angry." Quite obviously then who-so-ever you have hurt would say, "Ya it's ok, happens!" and forget the entire episode. But there are also times when you lose the person you love a lot because of the things you end up saying to that person in anger. This I have to admit is not wrong. If you have hurt some, even unintentionally, you must also be in the position to respect their decision of not being able to forgive you. They have their right to express their feelings as equally as you do.
But there is also another aspect to this that I somehow believe in. Not exactly the same but somewhat similar. This, to many, may not seem to be right and honestly I am not expecting it to be also. I am simply expressing only what I believe in. I agree that there are times when you end up displacing your certain emotions regarding a situation or person over another person or situation. This is bound to happen since it's a natural human tendency. And in some people, like me, this happens a little too often.(now you know where this theory originates from,it's about me!) These people(me) cannot wear a mask for anybody in the world. They are just who they are-good and bad!( and they(me)proudly accept 'this' in them cause they believe everyone is good and bad in some way..) So here, what I trying to say is such people(like me, uh I think I should start using I everywhere..but then saying 'such people' makes me feel like there are more of my kind..but no! I am fortunately or unfortunately the only one of a kind so whatever!..) have this one horrible bad habit. They(me) often end up saying stupid things(stupid because they often say things driven with emotion and so at times they(me) aren't really thinking) at times and screwing up(now you definitely know it's about me..) relationships that matter the most because you know it's easier for them to express their real self to these people. Now this special breed does this not because the person they are removing their frustration on are soft targets. But, because they are the only people they can honestly and fully be true to.They are the one's people like me can share their true self with only because we somehow have this extremely selfish belief that they will understand. They will feel bad when you hurt them not just for themselves but also for you, they will cry because of you(and also because you are crying), they will listen to your rubbish patiently because they know it's only rubbish and nothing else(and also cause talking in your case is pointless), and above all they will make you feel extremely guilty by being extremely nice to you and loving you even more (cause they know you will automatically apologize and then when you do , they will beat the shit out you of for being so stupid!) They are the reason there are so many people who dislike you(one because they are too good, and two because they love you the way you are and hence in a good way spoil you!) But isn't having one such person in your life even more valuable than having a billion people liking you for who you may or may not be. Such people are rare and precious cause they understand you as much as you understand yourself and more. They are your everything.. friend, philosopher, guide, lover, parent, sibling, soulmate..Everything! I remember my brother's reactions to what I used to say to him. Sometimes when he was away and I would miss him, instead of telling him I Miss You I would say, "Thank god you are not around. I feel my life is so peaceful. Even mom and dad are so happy all the time since they don't have to lose their voice constantly yelling at you. Everything is so perfect without you but well you know sometimes perfection gets boring."(I wouldn't tell him all this intentionally. It just used to happen) He would get so mad at me for saying all of that, but after he is done talking to me he would tell all his friends, " My sister is so stupid. She just can't admit to me that she is missing me!"
We all agree to the fact that we are not always the same. We change with time, people and circumstances. That's why human mind is so complex to understand, because there is nothing in us that is definite; not our choices, not our perceptions, not our behavior. There are times when we do things or actions we are not supposed to do. For example, I had a terrible day at work and I remove all of that at home, on my parents, or siblings, my best friend or my partner. A natural response to that sort of behavior would be, "It happened because I had a bad day and I was angry." Quite obviously then who-so-ever you have hurt would say, "Ya it's ok, happens!" and forget the entire episode. But there are also times when you lose the person you love a lot because of the things you end up saying to that person in anger. This I have to admit is not wrong. If you have hurt some, even unintentionally, you must also be in the position to respect their decision of not being able to forgive you. They have their right to express their feelings as equally as you do.
But there is also another aspect to this that I somehow believe in. Not exactly the same but somewhat similar. This, to many, may not seem to be right and honestly I am not expecting it to be also. I am simply expressing only what I believe in. I agree that there are times when you end up displacing your certain emotions regarding a situation or person over another person or situation. This is bound to happen since it's a natural human tendency. And in some people, like me, this happens a little too often.(now you know where this theory originates from,it's about me!) These people(me) cannot wear a mask for anybody in the world. They are just who they are-good and bad!( and they(me)proudly accept 'this' in them cause they believe everyone is good and bad in some way..) So here, what I trying to say is such people(like me, uh I think I should start using I everywhere..but then saying 'such people' makes me feel like there are more of my kind..but no! I am fortunately or unfortunately the only one of a kind so whatever!..) have this one horrible bad habit. They(me) often end up saying stupid things(stupid because they often say things driven with emotion and so at times they(me) aren't really thinking) at times and screwing up(now you definitely know it's about me..) relationships that matter the most because you know it's easier for them to express their real self to these people. Now this special breed does this not because the person they are removing their frustration on are soft targets. But, because they are the only people they can honestly and fully be true to.They are the one's people like me can share their true self with only because we somehow have this extremely selfish belief that they will understand. They will feel bad when you hurt them not just for themselves but also for you, they will cry because of you(and also because you are crying), they will listen to your rubbish patiently because they know it's only rubbish and nothing else(and also cause talking in your case is pointless), and above all they will make you feel extremely guilty by being extremely nice to you and loving you even more (cause they know you will automatically apologize and then when you do , they will beat the shit out you of for being so stupid!) They are the reason there are so many people who dislike you(one because they are too good, and two because they love you the way you are and hence in a good way spoil you!) But isn't having one such person in your life even more valuable than having a billion people liking you for who you may or may not be. Such people are rare and precious cause they understand you as much as you understand yourself and more. They are your everything.. friend, philosopher, guide, lover, parent, sibling, soulmate..Everything! I remember my brother's reactions to what I used to say to him. Sometimes when he was away and I would miss him, instead of telling him I Miss You I would say, "Thank god you are not around. I feel my life is so peaceful. Even mom and dad are so happy all the time since they don't have to lose their voice constantly yelling at you. Everything is so perfect without you but well you know sometimes perfection gets boring."(I wouldn't tell him all this intentionally. It just used to happen) He would get so mad at me for saying all of that, but after he is done talking to me he would tell all his friends, " My sister is so stupid. She just can't admit to me that she is missing me!"
Alisha. As a scorpion you must be familiar with the short attention span phenomenon. And i have the attention span of the size of a pigmy's d**k! (kahi suna lag raha hai na?)
ReplyDeleteANyway, the point is that i usually cannot read anything that is even a little long. i skip over to the end and judge the write up. But, trust me, this one i read from the beginning to the end in one go! Serioulsy, i could consider this literature! so simple and easy flowing. All the thoughts get into your head just like that. Ni analysis required or no background or any bulllshit of that sort.
Brilliant stuff man!!!
Ps- i had a little trouble with the you(me) part. kinda disoriented me! But, your argument is more than fair. (But, i am on your side here.) :)
thank u thank u thank u!!!
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